Sunny Jacobs: Life Beyond

How can you escape prison with your mind?

— “Prison Journey” Series (2/3)

What is life behind prison walls like? There are more than 2 000 people on death row in the United States. An average of three prisoners a year have been found innocent and exonerated since 1973. Sunny Jacobs was one of them. Both her and her husband, Jesse Tafero, were sentenced to death in 1981 for a crime they did not commit. Jesse was executed in horrendous conditions. She spent 17 years in prison in Florida, including five on death row before her sentence was commuted to life. She was eventually released. Today, she is married to Peter Pringle, who was also wrongfully convicted and sentenced to death in Ireland.

From extreme isolation to forgiveness and activism: Sunny Jacobs shares her story.

I found something inside myself that set me free. Meditation, yoga and prayer became my trinity.

"I took charge of my life”

I had all the time in the world to myself. In the end, I decided that my life still belonged to me. I believed in hope rather than hopelessness. I needed to repair my relationship with God. I had begun to doubt He even existed because of what had happened to us. If there is going to be hope, there needs to be God. I made a routine for myself every day. I took charge of my life. The time that I had was still my own, and I turned my cell into a sanctuary.

It was an interesting time; in a way I found a freedom inside my cell. I learned that you always have a choice. I chose to find some joy in my life even there. Making plans for when I would be let out really helped. Every night, with meditation, I used to send my energy to Jesse and to my children to kiss them good night. I found something inside myself that set me free. Even when my sentence was commuted from death to life, I kept those practices. Meditation, yoga and prayer became my trinity. I still do that to this day.

Five years after I was released, I got hit by a car. I thought “Is this a joke? This isn’t supposed to happen to me!” Being constrained by my mobility somehow made me a more compassionate and understanding yoga teacher for people who couldn’t move very well. This accident has not impacted my freedom. My mind is still free.

“Forgiveness is what sets you free”

Forgiveness is one of the first things we talked about with Peter, my husband. The definition is tricky: what is forgiveness? Does it mean it’s alright for them to do what they did? Of course not. But it’s not about them because they don’t even realise or care about what they did to you. It’s about you. It’s what sets you free. Forgiveness, for me, was being willing to let go of all those feelings of resentment, hatred and to replace it with joy, happiness, and health. That’s a great trade but it is still a process.

The hardest part was that I had to forgive myself. Sometimes, even just a song will just bring it all back, and you have to forgive again. My children still have problems to this day that I know came from my time in prison. When I hear about how prison in general affects children, I have to work on forgiving once again. That makes me angry and sad. My way of dealing with that is by working actively against the death penalty, to change the unjust laws and help people who have been affected by those laws.

Interviewed by Camille Laassiri